Supporting a friend struggling with mental health
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes only and the information provided is researched by trusted sources (listed in the bibliography). Please proceed with care as this blog briefly mentions suicide and self-harm. If these are topics that might upset or trigger you, please click away.
Support others
〰️
Support others 〰️
It can be very helpful and relieving when someone who is struggling with their mental health opens up to their friends, family, or loved ones. But oftentimes, we don't know how to respond or how to support our friend/ loved ones when this occurs. We might feel awkward or inclined to say certain things. So here are some ways you can support a person who opens up to you:
Understand that it's not your solely responsibility:
Feeling like we have to heal our friends/ loved ones when they open up to us can bear a mental toll on us which in turn affects our own mental health and our ability to support others. Instead, remember that it's not all on you. You can only support your friend but you can't diagnose or treat them. It might be helpful to recommend to your friend to tell a trusted adult (parent, older sibling, teacher, counselor, etc.) who can help acquire professional mental health services to better assist your friend/loved one. If this is unavailable, there are plenty of resources which can provide mental health support online including hotlines and some of the following websites:
https://mentalhealth.ae/online-platforms/
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/get-help
https://findahelpline.com/countries/sa
2. Listen
Credits: https://www.herefortexas.com/
When your friend opens up to you, it's important to listen attentively. Do not attempt to give unsolicited advice or make any judgements. Sometimes lending an ear is one of the most helpful things you can do to support someone else. If it's too overwhelming for your friend, you can also suggest having them write it down or text it. That way, any worries about appearing vulnerable are washed away. Do not interrupt your friend. You can show that you are paying attention by making eye contact, nodding, and leaving any distractions. It can be helpful to distinguish between empathatic and dismissive listening. Empathatic listening is the best way to support someone: paying attention, reassurance, and acknowledgement. Dismissive listening invalidates and can be more harmful than helpful, this may include giving unsolicited advice, trying to relate to your friend or mentioning other people, and/or dismissing their struggles (i.e. “you’re overreacting, at least it’s not ___, it could be worse.”
3. Reassurance
Sometimes, a person might feel anxious they've shared too much or burdened the person in front of them. It might be helpful to reassure your friend that you're glad they opened up and that you'll always be here to support them. You can also reassure them by validating their feelings. This helps them know that their struggles are valid and seen and that they don't have to struggle alone
4. Being There
It's important to be there for your friends, especially through your actions. Check in on them - call or text if you can. Ask if they need a hug or offer to spend some quality time together
5. Take into account your friend's safety
If your friend opens up to you and asks to keep it a secret, please do so. Don't talk about your friend's struggles with others. However, there are cases when it is absolutely crucial that you intervene by telling a trusted adult who can help your friend. These cases are as follows:
thoughts of self harm: If your friend opens up about thoughts of harming themselves or being actively engaged in self harm, it is crucial to tell a trusted adult (tell an adult whom you are sure will help your friend. For example, if your friend has opened up about struggles with their parents it might not help to tell their parents. Instead, opt for another trusted adult like a teacher, counselor, or even social services). Even if it seems like the harm is not deathly or serious and only appears as minor, this might escalate.
thoughts of harming others: if your friend shares any thoughts or ideations of harming others, you should also tell a trusted adult.
danger or abuse: If your friend opens up about being in a dangerous or abusive environment it is crucial that you ensure your friend's safety. Report to a school counselor or teacher.
suicidal thoughts or ideation: If your friend shares that they are considering taking their life, it is important that they immediately get help.
Try to encourage your friend to reach out to an adult themselves first.
6. Take breaks and set boundaries
Remember that this can be overwhelming and you do not bear the responsibility of supporting others if you are not in the right space to do so. Be honest and open with your friend. Recommend places or resources that can better support your friend and remember to take care of yourself.
Bibliography:
https://www.herefortexas.com/supporting-a-person-with-mental-illness
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/friend-cuts.html
https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/supporting-a-friend-with-their-mental-health/
https://childmind.org/article/support-friend-with-mental-health-challenges/
